I Am The Master Of My Fate; I Am Captain Of My Soul

Last couple of days have been quite exhausting not physically but mentally. I find it satisfying sometimes to ponder questions which have significant impact on our life. Lately my mind has drifted several times towards impending questions of my future and what it may bring to me.

Can you truly picture what you want to be in future? It is a basic question but to understand it in depth you must answer it with honesty and integrity of your soul. Don’t cloud it with the thoughts of materialism that is inculcated in everyone’s mind from birth. Let your heart decide what path to tread and only then you’ll see what was always in plain sight but is hidden from you.

So once again back to my original question:

Can you truly picture what you want to be in future? Is it like a single image? or Is it like a list of possibilities all of which bear resemblance to your likely future? If so, Is there anything invariable in each of your dreams or picturisation of your future self?

Think about the time when you would realise your dream and answer my question. What is that you wish to be around yourself when you reach there? For a moment keep aside the wealth, position, recognition or awards that you desire and answer my question. These might still be important but they are not what should be used to define your life.

Everyone has preconceived notions about what future would look like. But do you truly believe that you could predict knowing the endless snags which lay in store for you out there.

I was getting frustrated pondering such endless list of questions which seemed unfathomable for the time being. So I took a break and started watching one of my favourite movie Invictus. The film tells the inspiring true story of how Nelson Mandela who after spending 27 years in jail and then becoming the first black president of South Africa, joined forces with the captain of South Africa's rugby team to help unite their country. Mandela shares with François a British poem, "Invictus", that had inspired him during his time in prison. I will share it with everyone for it truly stirs something deep and profound inside you.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

In these lines I found peace of mind and understanding about the most important aspect about the future. It does not matter what tomorrow might bring, it is our attitude towards life and strength of our heart which would decide our fate.

Winds Of Change

 It is the time of change. I could feel it in my bones. The slow mourning of bare trees, the low pitched howling of stray dogs, chirping of birds all are signifying some eminent transformation.

 The chilling winds of winters are trying in vain to prolong their majestic dominance over the weather. Nevertheless the warmth of spring creeps through the reign of cold winds. The onset of springs is inevitable and so is change.

My life couldn’t be more similar to weather. I don’t know what is more strange; my life being similar to weather or myself being ignorant enough to claim that I understand Delhi’s weather. I rather would have compared my life with something more explicable but resemblance with something mysterious gives a much better air.

I am going to be a graduate soon. Everything about my life is going to change in a few months. I feel excited and filled with thrill to discover what all my life has waiting for me. I would freely like to admit there is some uneasiness about my uncertain future. Yet I’m determined to succeed.

My heart has always known the way and I hope that my feet would not falter in the maze of life which is ever so full of deceit and deception. All the wealth of the world would not mean anything if I’m not able to walk the path that leads to my heart’s desire.

My dreams are waiting to be full filled by me even though I don’t know the way yet. They are vital to our survival as they are one’s who make this life worth living. It is my personal quest, whether or not I'll succeed remains to be seen.  

A Day of Shame

Today I woke up with news that the rape victim girl died in peace. I was in loss of words about what to say for quite some time. I feel pain and anguish for the girl who just wanted to live but was denied even that much. I don’t know perhaps she asked for too much from a cruel world in which we live in. I pray for the brave girl and may she rest in peace.

 I asked myself many times in the past few days why are we so helpless every time such incident occurs. The government and police are to be blamed for being negligent and insensitive to basic issue of security of women. There are never enough cops at night and those who are present are more focused on harassing commuters. Getting a FIR registered at police station is a nightmare but even more so for women reporting eve teasing or rape incident. The whole system is powerless in providing justice. The quote that is ingrained in Indian Judiciary that ‘Justice Delayed is Justice Denied’ is the greatest lie in Indian democracy.

The government and the police are only representatives of the people. They reflect the society in which we live in. Even the rapist and criminals are part of the society. The root of all heinous crimes and inhuman acts are the result of mindset of patriarchal society where women have always been deprived of their rights and liberty. The respect for women that should be ingrained in everyone from childhood is missing even in well educated and civilised people, let alone the poor and uneducated.

The main issue as believed by some is not single isolated case in the capital of India even though it is the most dreadful example of cruelty faced by women. It is the crime against women in every corner of world that we must fight against. It is not about single highlighted case, it is about every single harassment and humiliation faced by women. The discrimination against women must stop otherwise our society would be maimed forever. The country where half the population is discredited and suppressed at every level could never progress. Humanity is in its true sense is shamed by witnessing such atrocity.

 I was listening to some people as panellist on news channel claiming they were deeply shocked and pained by hearing about what happened to the girl. Some political people were criticising each other and conveying their conspiracy theories. Each of them wanted to show their grief on television and focused on bringing their views and suggestions to limelight. I don’t know how much of this was actually true or genuine but it leaves a big question mark when these faces are absent when similar incident occur without being highlighted by media.

People are asking for capital punishment and maybe it is needed to induce fear in the minds of offenders and rapist but it is not the final solution. It is the people who must change in order to have some significant impact. Only by changing our attitude towards women, any women whether she is related to you or not; can we truly honour the death of girl who died of injuries sustained by the brutal gang rape in streets of Delhi.

 

The last stand

It is war time. I stand at the wall of my fortress looking at my enemy who is bent upon conquering my strongholds. I must fight with all my might to overcome my enemy who is determined to bring my downfall. I am the sole survivor of past deadly battles, a true warrior in bright armour...

Someone shouted my name...

I woke up with notes in hand amidst angry voices which belonged to my father. It took me some time to understand what exactly he was saying. Apparently I have dozed off while studying for my semester exam which is scheduled tomorrow. After a long tirade about how irresponsible I am and not being serious enough  in some innovative ways he left me to struggle with my books.

I remember a time when these scolding would leave me shame-faced but hearing the same lecture over and over again has made it a kind of a routine. It is part and parcel of every student including me.

I tried to shift my focus to studies. It is very difficult as it is but after a nap it is nearly impossible to concentrate specially in winters. My thoughts drifted to my dreams and I realised that my situation is similar to what I have dreamt. Maybe my mind unconsciously projected a dream which was an amplified and moderated image of my current situation.

Every student faces appealing and very lucrative concept of last night studies (other than few geeks). It is a very crucial time in which we must learn entire semester worth of course and become masters of the subject in just one night. It is an art of selective study with some intuitive guesswork on our part.

Some people call us crazy, some go to great lengths to explain that it is not the proper way of studying, some people have serious doubts about us and they criticize us of being negligent but we are simply lazy people with high expectations.

I am the hero of my story. Exams are my mortal enemy bent upon my destruction. It is determined to destroy me. So in order to prevail I must face it time and again. Last night study is our last stand against a deadly attack and we must give it everything we got in order to overcome and live happily.

With such wonderful thoughts I started smiling and feeling good. My good mood continued until my gaze rested on the wall clock which showed 11 PM. Then I looked at my syllabus and saw the amount of course remaining to be completed. All my happiness got instantly vaporised and quickly a feeling of impending doom rested on me.

And so my last stand began.....

It hurts but in a good way...

The wind of change blows through time. Sometime just a warm breeze shifting the leaf of a tree. Sometimes a thundering storm altering the entire nature of beings .It is one of the most fundamental aspects of nature. Everyone learn early in their life to abide by changes. For one who cannot adapt would perish in the storm of life.

This is a story of my friend who was caught unawares by persistent winds of change transforming him into someone entirely different. For better or worse we shall see....

I shall start from the very starting when we met for the first time. It was my first day of college and we were introduced to each other by some of my classmates. I remember him well an average looking guy of medium height, spikes in hair and strong build. The best thing was a big smile on his face that seemed genuine. He seemed like a friendly guy and kind of person who can easily mingle with everyone. We got along well for like me he was not one of the studious (scary) types.

The most prominent thing about him was his love for motorcycles. He used to do stunts and crazy stuff on bikes. Nobody knows about his stunting ability more than I due to some of the injuries I sustained during one or more of his stunts with me sitting behind him on his bike. He had a wild streak in him and trust me it was not good for somebody sitting behind him on his bike.  

And he was shy around girls...

I am not writing this to embarrass him. Everyone including me had some personal blocks in life and we all get over it and he did too with flying colours. I am writing this part because he used to get irritated sometimes particularly when there were girls present around. He used to be very firm on the point that there is no point including girls in our group. He had a preconceived notion that they are not faithful enough for lasting friendship. I wouldn’t have minded much but he used to seriously dissuade us from spending time with any girl. This was four years back.

After around one year of college I started getting indications that my friend was not as he appears on the surface. First time was when he got caught texting a girl just before start of a semester exam. It didn’t stop here. He went missing on several occasions. Well he later confessed she was his childhood crush and he still got a thing for her. This was three years back.

Around six months back he officially told us he is in a relationship with a girl for quite some time who he had known for past three years. I’m happy for him. But now when I look at him I could hardly find the person who I befriended once. He still has that big smile but with a bit of reserve. He now dresses properly, very neat and tidy without any spikes in his hair or funky shirts. No foolishness on his part now. He is in a serious mood all the time. There is a sense of formality in his actions which is evident in his behaviour. He has changed in ways that has curbed his craziness which used to be his characteristic trait.

I don’t say that he has become awful or something like that. It is just that he had started taking life a bit too seriously and this attitude sometimes takes fun out of your life.    

 It troubles me sometimes to see him behave differently from what he used to. He is one of my closest friends and some part of me does not want him to change. It even hurts a little bit but in a good way. He has not let our friendship suffer and our bond remains strong. Only his attitude towards life has changed. I can live with that.
Change is the only constant in life. It will come to all of us. We must learn to make peace with it. Otherwise life would be very difficult for us. In the end I just want to say that I’m happy that he has found some inspiration around him who had made himself a better person.