We Are Not Alone

I have been asked many times why do I read books? What indeed could I get from spending so much time and money on words written by some guy who lived long before our time or whose life is/was totally different from us? What virtue lies in the stories of wizards, knights or monsters that are used to amuse small kids?

There were stories about brave men and women who fought courageously for what they believed in. Then there were stories about common people who acted heroically in the face of danger for their families & friends and did great deeds. Stories of simple life’s of people having sorrows of their own.

It was not a conscious effort on my part to start reading novels. It was like an unknown connection that I felt, I had with stories of men and women living different lives than me that drew me towards reading. It was partially my curiosity about people that made me search for answers. I used to wonder when I was sad that why god made me miserable. I used to think I was the only one who had to face difficulties in life. Reading books told me it was not so. There was comfort there knowing everyone have felt the same way I did. The most consolation a person can get is by knowing that he/she is not alone.

Now the questions come:

Why we feel what we feel? Why we cry for some trivial a thing, as assumed by onlooker’s? Why something’s/someone mean so much to us than the rest of the world never could? Does our little or big obsessions even justified? How can we know the answers before even making those decisions? Where you are right now, you’ll never be again. So how can we be prepared for what is to come, when we never have been there?

“A smart man learns from his mistakes.
A wise one learns from the mistakes of others.”

You learn from experiences of others. All the answers are there in the books which people have written, opening their mind and souls for the world to see. Their stories are a mirage created from their feelings, given shape by their imagination and perfected by their version of the world. A magic that is as real as the person who created it. For they have lived those life’s a hundred times before inscribing them on paper.

In the virtual world which we live now, we are losing the traits of humanity. We the privileged few are far from deeper meanings of our coexistence in this world than we could imagine. For nobody is there to teach us the need of compassion. We have lived in a sheltered life’s so far in metro cities with all the materialistic pleasures the world could offer. But all the virtual realities vanishes very fast when we have to face adversity. The emptiness that surrounds us then is very real and frightening indeed.

Then how to we fill these empty spaces in our life, for we are more concerned about piling petty materialistic pleasures for ourselves that we do not see the whole picture. We were not born to merely exist. We were meant to coexist with our fellow humans. For this we need to understand each other and only then we can move forward with humanity.

The stories about simple people living there life’s peacefully in some forgotten corners of the world will teach you the most important things there is to learn: empathy, kindness and generosity. To help someone without letting that person know, to do a good deed without selfish motives or sacrificing something for the greater good; these can be learnt from those stories of simple of men and women.

I for one believe that if all of us were to learn what the books have to teach us; the world will be a better place to live in.

Friends For Life: A Gem Of A Person (Contd..)

The person I am writing today is a special one. Well special because it is such a rarity to see someone who seems like a mirror which shows every color of life exactly same to everyone, without any prejudice or bias. Truly a gem of a person, if anybody get’s an opportunity of meeting her (I promise you!) they cannot say no to that. I had that opportunity (Don’t want to say honor or she will go sky high) and so today I must write about this wonderful person who goes by the name of Ansu Anna Alex (Don’t get mixed up by the name! it’s just Ansu for everyone).

Well I met her after few days of start of our training when me, Shoyeb and Deepesh decided to sit in the same row next to each other, leaving one seat vacant between us on either sides, which were supposed to be filled by girls of our batch. Well I don’t know how it happened (I think she didn't have any other choice!) but she decided to sit next to me. Incidentally that very day was her turn for giving Jam. She didn't came prepared (She never is!) and so she just read a poem from her mobile. I don’t remember the words but I somehow ended up making fun of her and she gave me her seriously angry looks (She can never be properly angry at anyone and that is a fact!). It started like this, me thinking she is not a girl to cross (Serious misconception on my part!) and what she thinks about me I can only guess.

Over time I got to know her better and now I am glad that I met her.

There is something wonderful in seeing such a simple and unsophisticated person which makes her even more beautiful to behold. For her brilliance lies in her soul, which is innocent & thus shines the brightest. She belongs to that rare creed which still have faith and who are true to themselves. It relieves my heart to see such a remarkable person and more so for having her as a friend.

We became fast friends during our training and helped each whenever needed (When not required then also I helped!). We both had to share all the dull sessions together about which half the time we didn't have any clue. We worked together and encouraged each other to do better. There is nothing extraordinary about the time we spent together or anything very memorable that we did together but such is life, the ordinary moments spent with a extraordinary person becomes special.

The thing that I really liked most about her was the humbleness and sensitiveness she showed while interacting with everyone around her. Some people might mistake her softness for her weakness but I know as a matter of fact that she has strength within her which she herself sometimes downplays. She is in fact one of the best person that I have met in my life so far and I truly believe she will do great things in life.

Seeing back, I think she understood me better than most people did, for which I am grateful.

I infuriated her at a lot of occasions but she kept her peace (for which I am thankful to her). 

I wish her the very best in all her pursuits of life.

(To be contd.....)

Friends For Life: A Fierce Friend (contd..)

Now, I would write about a person who I came to admire for his courage and sincerity that I have seen in very few people. His name is MJ Shoyeb beside whom I sat on the first day of beginning of our training batch. He is a serious looking person but with a ready smile. I was very lucky that I got a seat next to him because I soon found out how hard the training was going to be in the coming months. He was our savior as he is very good in technical stuff about which I didn't have any clue at all (I still don't have any clue!). 

The thing I liked most about him is that he was always there for all of us with a helping hand whenever we needed him. He is among the most sincere and intelligent people in our batch (It literally saved us during the exams) and had good ideas where to put our focus so that we would clear our exams. Apart from work he was one of the most jolly and friendly person around us. The great thing about him was that he is genuinely cared about all of us and wanted us to do well.

On a personal side he is a sensitive person who is one of those people who think and act from their heart rather than their mind. This makes him special as in his heart there is no place dishonesty or falseness. He is as straightforward as anybody with a conscience that speaks of his moral integrity.

I have learned many things from him whether technical or about being a person who cares about everyone around him (but so many technical things!!) & who wants everyone to have equal success for that purpose would encourage everyone to work as a team. He was relentless in his pursuit of sharing his knowledge with everyone and gain from others wherever and whenever possible.

He is a fierce friend and I had the pleasure of spending most of our training in his company and with his support. It makes me feel proud to have such a friend in life.

Special thanks to him from bottom of my heart!!


(To be contd.....)

Friends For Life

I think about the last year and would like to remember few people who made an impression on me not to mention lasting friendship that I hold very close to my heart.

I would first start with Shruthi Vijayan. Well I met with her on my induction day  in Tech Mahindra. A smart, intelligent looking girl who sat behind me (I was in the first row!) from Delhi. She is the first one I got to know in Hyderabad and as we both were from same part of India (common grounds!), we hit off well from the very start.

I don’t what happened or how her father got impressed by me (my traditional greeting: touching his feet helped), he decided that she should live in the same area (where I was living) that I suggested to her. It was starting of our acquaintance that came with some great memories during my training time. The night time chat’s near that Vodafone Store or our weekend hangouts in Inorbit Mall not to mention our Extreme Sports Bar where we had some great time (especially the defeat of India in the T-20 World Cup!).

I came to respect her for her courage which makes her outspoken for what she believes in and her emotional side (which she doesn't shows very often; but which exist all the same). There was a side to her personality that she kept close to her but which I think is an important part of her i.e. the fact she likes to write. She has a diary which she always keeps with her and where she writes (I don’t know what); but which I think explains her observant and perceptive nature. The time spent with her was very precious to me, as it is very rare that you find a person with almost same emotional and mental level and with similar opinion on so many things that matter. The key to our bonding was the understanding and trust that we showed each other.


We were together during the tumultuous period when we both were getting drilled to become professional software engineers. We shared our frustration & hopes during that time but we still found time for fun. I would always cherish the time spent with her. 

Though we only spent a few months together, on my part I know I found a friend for life.


(To be contd...)

A Day Of Peace

It has been a long time since I wrote my last blog. It seems words flow freely in times of great turmoil or peace. For previously when I used to write, it was my uncertainty about my future that spoke out and now being back at home after a long time, feeling the same old sense of belonging to a place made me revisit my past writing days. It has been days since I felt the peace of mind without any haste of the world. Well it had to have an effect on me.

So here I am again.

It seems only yesterday I left for joining in an IT company to a place totally different then what I am used to. It seems that time has flown, changing many things, most of all, me. Yet sitting in my home writing this blog it feels nothing has altered since last year when I left Delhi. But my heart knows that it has.

It has been the most important year in my life so far. For it was my time with the outside world (as it is called), without the guidance and help of my friends and family. It was a year of reckoning where I have to prove my worth.

I did okay, I think (Hope I am correct!).

I meet with people entirely different than me and I learnt a great deal from all of them. It opened my eyes to how much I still need to learn. I made some great friendships along the way. It warmed my heart to know people who were born and bought-up completely different from what I was.  I understand now that under the differences we all are actually the same inside.

I hope my new friends will go a long way with me.  

I sit and look back all the time that has passed since I left Delhi for Bangalore and I say to everyone there is no place like home. It always feels comfortable and secure no matter what. The very air seems so refreshing and pure (Thanks to godsend rain). I was telling a friend that I like Delhi more compared to Bangalore when I got an amazing reply “You don’t like the place, you like the people in it”. This pretty much sums it all.

What my friend implied and with which I concur is a fact that I have in Delhi some special friends and family that make my life meaningful and who I treasure above everything. For life without these special people will be dull and gloomy indeed. So to see them again after so many months gives me the will and strength to carry on. With these people, a year is not enough for talking till my heart’s fill and a moment is sufficient to look at them and understand that our bond is strong as ever.

It’s good to be back. After a long time it finally feels like home.

Today life is good. 

Cheers!!

Live From Hyderabad

It has been a long time since I wrote my blog. There is a saying that time never stops. Yet there are periods in life when it actually does. When nothing seems to happen for us, everything seems to be standing still except the date on the calendar. There is an emptiness which seems to be surrounding us, feeding on us. At such time all we can do is endure and hope for the days to get better. I was having a similar phase. But I’m happy to say that time is past.

So my first job, a new city and lots and lots of new people. It has been a great experience so far (best biriyani ever). Being a guy who has lived in Delhi for last 16 years, coming to live in the City of Nizams seemed a daunting task. When you enter the city the first impression is of a place with a rich and glorious history. It has been the main city for the Mughals and later the capital for the British. It seems a whole new world for me who has living a comfortable yet incomplete life so far.

The most striking feature in this new phase of life is my new found association with the people from different parts of India, speaking different languages, coming from different geographical origins and ethnicity. Another important aspect is beginning of my professional career in IT industry. It is the initial phase of my personal transformation that would leave me changed for the better.

Each one of us has dreamed to be successful in life. It takes our whole life to realize it. I have leaped to the next level and find myself closer to the future that I have always wanted for myself. I must confess here that it is not the path that I thought I would likely walk, yet I have learnt that life does not give you what you want rather life gives what you need. Perhaps I needed this one.

A Day Of Light

The light of all lights that shines brighter than the sun, more eternal than eternity, more human than humanity, existing for the sake of its existence, transforming continuously yet hidden in its every form, a truth more true than life itself. It has been named thousand names, a thousand times. It has been called Faith by the devout, bond-of-blood by the radical, love by dreamers and friendship by the wise.

I see around myself a world which consumes everything, ever changing its nature, and my sense of being insignificant in grand scheme of things becomes more profound. I realise no matter what you do, something or other would always be left out, beyond your reach. It is then of paramount importance that a force must exist which fills the void and gives you strength to carry on. This force has been hailed for generations as faith, love and friendship.

   

It is perhaps a paradox of nature that nothing or no one could exist in this world on his own. To think you could exist without your friends or your loved ones is unimaginable. I always put friends before family for friends are living examples of choices which you have made in this world. People who have witnessed your life, wept for your hardships, cared for your well being and whose mere presence gives you strength and all of these being reciprocated by you, is a boon greater than all the riches of the world.

            

I think of all this and conclude that there is something at work here, more fundamental than any building blocks of life, which works in wondrous ways. It is an order out of chaos, which sustains us, test us, show us the face of failure and reward us for our persistence.   

To What End??

Sooner or later we all ask our self the reason of our existence. After a long hectic day of which each and every hour was painful, every step laboured; we always question the reason of our suffering. Why do we suffer needlessly when all we want is to follow our hearts wherever it takes us? Why do the choices that life presents to us have to be so out of context that we are left bewildered and uncertain that the path laid in front of us is indeed the one that we seek?   

It is said that we live to find happiness in this world. For this sole purpose we follow our dreams, fall in love and take risk in life to achieve what we must to full fill our destiny and leave our impact in this world. But each of us at some time of our life question the path that we are forced to tread to find happiness. We all ask our self the same question; ‘To what end?’  

 We all question our faith, our beliefs in different scenarios to ascertain that we follow the most righteous and worthwhile path. Some questions are asked openly, some secretly in silent corners of the house.

It is in human nature to seek acceptance from the people with whom we indulge our self. Our whole life is spent earning our place in the society or so as to say to mingle with the crowd. This is reason why even when it is clear to us that the way is improper even immoral in the eyes of our soul; we don’t dare to heed that voice. For it will make us stand out in the crowd. We feel that we would be seen as an outcast by our own friends, family and the society most of all. Such is the greatest travesty in this world that a soul is lost in hailstorm of life for those who never cared or were not even aware of his existence.       

 It is very infuriating sometimes to follow the customs and traditions with which we must oblige our society. From the time we are born we’re confounded by the endless web of human subtleties.  As we grow up and as our understanding grows we are more baffled by inexplicable human nature and bizarre turn of events which takes us to roads beyond our wildest imaginations.  

Such is the way of life as complex as any mathematics algebraic problem if you don’t understand the question; at the same time simple enough if you know the trick. Life has always been difficult to understand with so much happening around us. It is easier to get lost here than to reach the end of the road. The trick is to keep walking.    

I Am The Master Of My Fate; I Am Captain Of My Soul

Last couple of days have been quite exhausting not physically but mentally. I find it satisfying sometimes to ponder questions which have significant impact on our life. Lately my mind has drifted several times towards impending questions of my future and what it may bring to me.

Can you truly picture what you want to be in future? It is a basic question but to understand it in depth you must answer it with honesty and integrity of your soul. Don’t cloud it with the thoughts of materialism that is inculcated in everyone’s mind from birth. Let your heart decide what path to tread and only then you’ll see what was always in plain sight but is hidden from you.

So once again back to my original question:

Can you truly picture what you want to be in future? Is it like a single image? or Is it like a list of possibilities all of which bear resemblance to your likely future? If so, Is there anything invariable in each of your dreams or picturisation of your future self?

Think about the time when you would realise your dream and answer my question. What is that you wish to be around yourself when you reach there? For a moment keep aside the wealth, position, recognition or awards that you desire and answer my question. These might still be important but they are not what should be used to define your life.

Everyone has preconceived notions about what future would look like. But do you truly believe that you could predict knowing the endless snags which lay in store for you out there.

I was getting frustrated pondering such endless list of questions which seemed unfathomable for the time being. So I took a break and started watching one of my favourite movie Invictus. The film tells the inspiring true story of how Nelson Mandela who after spending 27 years in jail and then becoming the first black president of South Africa, joined forces with the captain of South Africa's rugby team to help unite their country. Mandela shares with François a British poem, "Invictus", that had inspired him during his time in prison. I will share it with everyone for it truly stirs something deep and profound inside you.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

In these lines I found peace of mind and understanding about the most important aspect about the future. It does not matter what tomorrow might bring, it is our attitude towards life and strength of our heart which would decide our fate.

Winds Of Change

 It is the time of change. I could feel it in my bones. The slow mourning of bare trees, the low pitched howling of stray dogs, chirping of birds all are signifying some eminent transformation.

 The chilling winds of winters are trying in vain to prolong their majestic dominance over the weather. Nevertheless the warmth of spring creeps through the reign of cold winds. The onset of springs is inevitable and so is change.

My life couldn’t be more similar to weather. I don’t know what is more strange; my life being similar to weather or myself being ignorant enough to claim that I understand Delhi’s weather. I rather would have compared my life with something more explicable but resemblance with something mysterious gives a much better air.

I am going to be a graduate soon. Everything about my life is going to change in a few months. I feel excited and filled with thrill to discover what all my life has waiting for me. I would freely like to admit there is some uneasiness about my uncertain future. Yet I’m determined to succeed.

My heart has always known the way and I hope that my feet would not falter in the maze of life which is ever so full of deceit and deception. All the wealth of the world would not mean anything if I’m not able to walk the path that leads to my heart’s desire.

My dreams are waiting to be full filled by me even though I don’t know the way yet. They are vital to our survival as they are one’s who make this life worth living. It is my personal quest, whether or not I'll succeed remains to be seen.  

A Day of Shame

Today I woke up with news that the rape victim girl died in peace. I was in loss of words about what to say for quite some time. I feel pain and anguish for the girl who just wanted to live but was denied even that much. I don’t know perhaps she asked for too much from a cruel world in which we live in. I pray for the brave girl and may she rest in peace.

 I asked myself many times in the past few days why are we so helpless every time such incident occurs. The government and police are to be blamed for being negligent and insensitive to basic issue of security of women. There are never enough cops at night and those who are present are more focused on harassing commuters. Getting a FIR registered at police station is a nightmare but even more so for women reporting eve teasing or rape incident. The whole system is powerless in providing justice. The quote that is ingrained in Indian Judiciary that ‘Justice Delayed is Justice Denied’ is the greatest lie in Indian democracy.

The government and the police are only representatives of the people. They reflect the society in which we live in. Even the rapist and criminals are part of the society. The root of all heinous crimes and inhuman acts are the result of mindset of patriarchal society where women have always been deprived of their rights and liberty. The respect for women that should be ingrained in everyone from childhood is missing even in well educated and civilised people, let alone the poor and uneducated.

The main issue as believed by some is not single isolated case in the capital of India even though it is the most dreadful example of cruelty faced by women. It is the crime against women in every corner of world that we must fight against. It is not about single highlighted case, it is about every single harassment and humiliation faced by women. The discrimination against women must stop otherwise our society would be maimed forever. The country where half the population is discredited and suppressed at every level could never progress. Humanity is in its true sense is shamed by witnessing such atrocity.

 I was listening to some people as panellist on news channel claiming they were deeply shocked and pained by hearing about what happened to the girl. Some political people were criticising each other and conveying their conspiracy theories. Each of them wanted to show their grief on television and focused on bringing their views and suggestions to limelight. I don’t know how much of this was actually true or genuine but it leaves a big question mark when these faces are absent when similar incident occur without being highlighted by media.

People are asking for capital punishment and maybe it is needed to induce fear in the minds of offenders and rapist but it is not the final solution. It is the people who must change in order to have some significant impact. Only by changing our attitude towards women, any women whether she is related to you or not; can we truly honour the death of girl who died of injuries sustained by the brutal gang rape in streets of Delhi.

 

The last stand

It is war time. I stand at the wall of my fortress looking at my enemy who is bent upon conquering my strongholds. I must fight with all my might to overcome my enemy who is determined to bring my downfall. I am the sole survivor of past deadly battles, a true warrior in bright armour...

Someone shouted my name...

I woke up with notes in hand amidst angry voices which belonged to my father. It took me some time to understand what exactly he was saying. Apparently I have dozed off while studying for my semester exam which is scheduled tomorrow. After a long tirade about how irresponsible I am and not being serious enough  in some innovative ways he left me to struggle with my books.

I remember a time when these scolding would leave me shame-faced but hearing the same lecture over and over again has made it a kind of a routine. It is part and parcel of every student including me.

I tried to shift my focus to studies. It is very difficult as it is but after a nap it is nearly impossible to concentrate specially in winters. My thoughts drifted to my dreams and I realised that my situation is similar to what I have dreamt. Maybe my mind unconsciously projected a dream which was an amplified and moderated image of my current situation.

Every student faces appealing and very lucrative concept of last night studies (other than few geeks). It is a very crucial time in which we must learn entire semester worth of course and become masters of the subject in just one night. It is an art of selective study with some intuitive guesswork on our part.

Some people call us crazy, some go to great lengths to explain that it is not the proper way of studying, some people have serious doubts about us and they criticize us of being negligent but we are simply lazy people with high expectations.

I am the hero of my story. Exams are my mortal enemy bent upon my destruction. It is determined to destroy me. So in order to prevail I must face it time and again. Last night study is our last stand against a deadly attack and we must give it everything we got in order to overcome and live happily.

With such wonderful thoughts I started smiling and feeling good. My good mood continued until my gaze rested on the wall clock which showed 11 PM. Then I looked at my syllabus and saw the amount of course remaining to be completed. All my happiness got instantly vaporised and quickly a feeling of impending doom rested on me.

And so my last stand began.....

It hurts but in a good way...

The wind of change blows through time. Sometime just a warm breeze shifting the leaf of a tree. Sometimes a thundering storm altering the entire nature of beings .It is one of the most fundamental aspects of nature. Everyone learn early in their life to abide by changes. For one who cannot adapt would perish in the storm of life.

This is a story of my friend who was caught unawares by persistent winds of change transforming him into someone entirely different. For better or worse we shall see....

I shall start from the very starting when we met for the first time. It was my first day of college and we were introduced to each other by some of my classmates. I remember him well an average looking guy of medium height, spikes in hair and strong build. The best thing was a big smile on his face that seemed genuine. He seemed like a friendly guy and kind of person who can easily mingle with everyone. We got along well for like me he was not one of the studious (scary) types.

The most prominent thing about him was his love for motorcycles. He used to do stunts and crazy stuff on bikes. Nobody knows about his stunting ability more than I due to some of the injuries I sustained during one or more of his stunts with me sitting behind him on his bike. He had a wild streak in him and trust me it was not good for somebody sitting behind him on his bike.  

And he was shy around girls...

I am not writing this to embarrass him. Everyone including me had some personal blocks in life and we all get over it and he did too with flying colours. I am writing this part because he used to get irritated sometimes particularly when there were girls present around. He used to be very firm on the point that there is no point including girls in our group. He had a preconceived notion that they are not faithful enough for lasting friendship. I wouldn’t have minded much but he used to seriously dissuade us from spending time with any girl. This was four years back.

After around one year of college I started getting indications that my friend was not as he appears on the surface. First time was when he got caught texting a girl just before start of a semester exam. It didn’t stop here. He went missing on several occasions. Well he later confessed she was his childhood crush and he still got a thing for her. This was three years back.

Around six months back he officially told us he is in a relationship with a girl for quite some time who he had known for past three years. I’m happy for him. But now when I look at him I could hardly find the person who I befriended once. He still has that big smile but with a bit of reserve. He now dresses properly, very neat and tidy without any spikes in his hair or funky shirts. No foolishness on his part now. He is in a serious mood all the time. There is a sense of formality in his actions which is evident in his behaviour. He has changed in ways that has curbed his craziness which used to be his characteristic trait.

I don’t say that he has become awful or something like that. It is just that he had started taking life a bit too seriously and this attitude sometimes takes fun out of your life.    

 It troubles me sometimes to see him behave differently from what he used to. He is one of my closest friends and some part of me does not want him to change. It even hurts a little bit but in a good way. He has not let our friendship suffer and our bond remains strong. Only his attitude towards life has changed. I can live with that.
Change is the only constant in life. It will come to all of us. We must learn to make peace with it. Otherwise life would be very difficult for us. In the end I just want to say that I’m happy that he has found some inspiration around him who had made himself a better person.

Last Steps

I do like to talk about time a lot. It is important to me in ways which are self devised and have coherent meaning in my approach towards life. When life is tough I try to wait patiently for the time to pass. When life is wonderful there is a rush to prolong the happy moments. Nevertheless they slip  through my fingers breaking my heart each time they do so. But such is life. It is never easy. No matter what you do life will tear apart things that you cherish. Yet life is fair for you will receive rewards at places you least expect.

Such thoughts leave me with more questions then at the time they actually started messing with my head. I was troubled by them when I was thinking of the past few days......


My heart is beating with a sense of urgency. It is like someone important is going to be left behind. I tried to soothe it but my efforts were soon drowned in a flood of raw emotions. I felt nostalgic as my eyes swept across the corridor. Seeing those faces that have been my life for the last four years made me realise how much I am going to miss them. An important phase in my life is coming to an end...

I remember the first day of college, when I walked into the college campus with a big smile on my face. After the disciplined and monotonous school life, excitement was budding inside me ready to burst out. I walked around getting the feel of the new place. I thought this place would be the centre of my life for many years to come. I entered my class and looked around anxiously. I made some introductions with my class mates and thus began the most memorable journey of my life.

I had no idea that some of them would become inseparable part of my life. But they did and rest is history. The rest of the day went really fast between trying to remember every body's name and unyielding professors who did not show mercy to the fresh arrivals. As I walked home that day there was a sense of hopefulness in me. I was really looking forward to what the coming days would bring to my life.

And the time flowed..

I don't say my days were always good, that all my expectations were actually met. There were times when I have regretted coming here. But when I look at the faces of my friends that otherwise would not have existed at all, my sense of disappointment fade into nothingness.

All the fond memories of college, the taunts and friendly jibes, senseless chatter, the trials faced ( sitting in lectures), our foolish notions, long bike rides not to forget our own ceremonious meeting (sometimes with glasses in hand) and our birthday celebrations the list goes on and on...
For all these moments I will only say that coming here was worth it and that too in gold.

Memory is like a mirror, it shows the reflection of reality. It is not what the heart desires for it does not satisfy the soul. For my heart longs for the real thing although it might be a moment from the past.
Now I have only left with memories of my college days. As years will pass they too might grow dim and fade eventually. Such is the truth of life. Everything has an expiry date attached to it. So it ends...

A walk through time

The clock shows midnight and after a long wait the hands of the clock smiles in unison as they are united again for a moment of peace that makes there separation bearable.
Time is an illusion . It literally stops whenever you want to speed things up and just goes off like an super fast train when there is truck load of work that has to be done . You could be cheated by it if you rely too much on it yet it might bring you wonders when you are not looking . Well these are some of the many delusions of my sophisticated mind..

I was thinking how the day went for quite sometime and then just like that I walked through some other time..


I was late as usual and the professor didn't looked happy to see me..
 
I walked through the benches and sat at a one of the desk at the back of the class room . I instantly got involved in hearing the latest gossips and circulating jibes that are instigated in order to create some fun in otherwise boring college life's of engineers . The professor seemed unperturbed and was still holding her ground in hope that someone in the class might still be listening . I have my share of sympathies for her but they are very limited as my marks in my internal's topped by my attendance.
 
Well I was scanning the class for anything interesting and both my eyes and my mind were wandering in an  seamless endless wait for lecture to get over . My eyes rested on one of my classmates . He was one of my best buddy from school and we used to do every thing together but strangely enough he seemed a world apart.

Recently he got involved with an girl who was also a good friend of mine . Distances were growing between us after his involvement with her . A part of me was angry at him and wanted to give him a real piece of my mind for abandoning my companionship so easily .
I wanted to insult every bit of him then and there for his behaviour as there was lot of hurt in my insides . I was contemplating for quite some time now,about what should I do . In my heart I knew my words was meaningless and it would do more harm then good . I did not wished to end my friendship on a bitter note....


So sitting at that uncomfortable desk during an endlessly boring lecture ,in presence of an frustrated yet determined looking professor and in company of my silly classmates I choose not to say anything and remain silent..

I could not have foreseen the future but back then,I thought it was for the best...

This was two years ago . If you see from the outside then nothing has changed around me . But for me things have changed a lot . I know now from my past experiences that how you look at the world defines you.
I realised after days of frustration that it was his life and only he can choose how to live it . I think we all make some foolish mistakes at some time or other and hurt people around us willing or unwillingly . Yet we are very angry if same is done to us no matter who is at fault and what is the reason . But when you are full of anger at wrong done to you and the person is important part of your life,sometimes it is better to remain silent and allow time to heal your hurt .

I choose to remain silent that day which prevented me from venting my anger and spoiling my friendship . For he later realised his mistakes and apologised for his behaviour . He was with me today and we had a some great time as usual .

Such is a paradox of time . You cannot turn it back but every time time you let your mind free it is surrounded by memories of the past which are more illuminating  and enlightening then the glorious present .





This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

The Right Kind Of Courage

What an event full day.There were lots of things happening at once and things were changing at a very brisk pace.I am sitting here thinking of the celebration we had,some serious personal encounter of close friends,reconciliation after some time and then a fight for no reason.Each of these things happened today separately at different time with various people involved and with no connection with each other.There was something common which I found among the persons involved and that is courage.

It takes a lot of courage to fight in a ring with a worthy adversary, while cliff jumping,parachute jumping or driving at more than 300km per hour to win a race.But how would you fare when you are being bullied and beaten by an goon??Not good I suppose.Nobody wants to get in an fight where it might come to blows.I don't mind admitting that I am a little afraid myself.But that is not important as fear comes naturally to us.The thing that tells the character of an person is how he hold his ground even when everything around is hurting him.
Here is what happened today..
My friend got into trouble with some local thugs for no fault of his.They came looking to for him.I suggested him to leave but he stood there wanting to clarify things and short everything out.They were drunk and were thrashing at anyone who stood around.But my friend walked up to them knowing full well that there was very little chance of a friendly chat.What followed later was predictable,him getting bruised and humiliated even with our efforts to protect him.
Some people might say that it was foolish on his behalf to walk to them and he should have left when he had the chance.So I ask a question.Should we walk away when we know when we had done no wrong??Does avoiding situation behind the pretext of acting smartly is always a good thing???Wouldn't we fall victim to fear and pessimism if we didn't stand for what we believe in??Is being able to face the extremes is not what makes us humans??
I don't know about others but I think what he did was honourable for it was not his ego or his pride that made him confront them.It was the sense of his belief that prompted him to action and in my opinion it was right kind of courage.

Now to what happened at some other place and different time but today itself....
There were some serious issues between couple of my friends for quite some time.I don't know how it happened but one of them took the initiative and apologised and after that there was reconciliation between everyone.I am not going into details because everything was so messy and I wouldn't know from where to start and where to end.So this is what happened.
There all kinds of courage but the ability to stand before someone and accept what you did was wrong needs the lots of courage.For you must put aside your ego,pride and the sense of self importance first and only then you can say the right words.My friend showed courage and most importantly the right kind of courage.

 I am not giving my judgement that what they did was right or wrong.As same thing can be said in thousand different ways,explanation of behaviour of someone can be described in a number of ways,each view different from the previous one.I am simply trying to understand what drives an person when things change adversely and there is no escape from what is to come.You only have two choices whether to face the situation reluctantly or face it on your feet, for face you must as it is your fate.When you don't have the power to change anything,your attitude is what matters. 

 

My first words

I have been wanting to start my own blog for a some time.I don't know something or the other always prevents me from writing(laziness).Still it is "better to be late then never" they say(whoever said this was a wonderful guy)..

 

Well the idea actually was to have my own space for my thoughts.As more often then not it goes astray or lost in the midst of useless and meaningless chatter of my daily life.My mind wanders in such a wide variety of issues that it is a bit difficult to understand what it truly means.Perhaps writing them down might help to simplify the thought process and make it easier to decide what to do.

 

Memory is the greatest gift that mankind recieved from the creator.It is the unconditional solace of every individual.Yet it is so fragile that only a few remain and the rest fades with time.It is important for me to remember every detail of today so that tomorrow I might look back and feel proud of my achivements.

 

It is important for me to never forget what it is be like now,so that when in a completely different time and situation in the future I would have to make an important decision for my life,there would still be a part of my old self present there there who can hold on to my values and choose that path which is closest to my heart.

 

 

 

So here I am.....